I know I know, I have been HORRIBLE at updating lately but with the Holidays and stuff I just haven't had time.... This is also going to be a quick update.
OK Here goes:
Bryce is
13lbs 3 oz.
23.5 inches.
We have finally started charting his growth and he is not even in the 1 percentile yet... Not even on the charts at all.. Even adjusted age.
Anyway he is still sick since basically the beginning of December. He has just gotten over his first ear infection (double) That was interesting. He had a reaction to the ammoxicilin, which is weird because he was on Ampicillin in the NICU and did fine with that.. Who knows.
I received in the mail a copy of his NICU "history" It was absolutely devastating! It basically told EVRYTHING from day one, in explicit detail of all he went through. I should not have read it. Not that I have forgotten anything that happened to him in the NICU but I have sort of put it away because he is "knock on wood" better now. So I am just focused on him now, not him then.... Well after reading page after page of how he probably should not have made it I think I finally realize how very lucky we are to him here with us.
Anyway I also wanted to bring something up that happened to me the other day and see if any other preemie moms have ever experienced ignorance like this before.
Short Version:
Tuesday afternoon I am in Pedi GI office with Bryce. There is a woman there with her son who I would guess was about 6 years old. Of course when I walk in I have a O2 tank, pulse Ox (thats beeping) Diaper bag, Bryce etc.... My hands are about as full as can be. So after checking in I go and sit to wait for the doctor. I can feel this woman staring at me and Bryce, (you know how it almost feels like the are sitting on your shoulder because they are staring so bad) Anyway finally I look up and half ass smile at the lady trying not to be rude. Well don't you know... She goes and opens her mouth and says "Oh wow, is your son OK?" and still being nice I said yes he is OK, he was a preemie. She then says " wow how early was he" 24 weeks I say. She says "oh wow how did that happen" (which really isn't her business, but since I was feeling like I was being put on the spot I said " Preterm labor" (I'm Getting a little irritated now) She then looks at me and says..... You ready for this??........ She says "Really? Wow! Drug babies are usually the only ones born early like that"
OK WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME???????????? I was so furiated I could have spit in her face, but I didn't, I just ignored the comment and went on with my appointment. So heres my question.... Is it me taking this comment the wrong way or did she really mean what I think she meant???
Then that started getting me thinking, is this really what people think when they see me with my son, just because he is on Oxygen? Or because he is small? Or because he is a "preemie" ? I almost felt a little bad about that. It almost made me feel for a minute like I did something wrong..
This WOMAN made it seem like I caused him to be born too early, when in reality I stayed in the hospital on FULL Bed rest, no showers, no bathroom, laying at a 5 degree angle upside down, doing any and everything to save my sons life and this woman actually made me question myself! I AM SO PI--ED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Am I wrong??
Then I start thinking to myself what it must be like for the parents and children who have much more severe disabilities and what it must be like for them dealing with people staring and gawking at them everyday. I give so much credit to all those families who have disabled family members and are still able to stand stall and not let other people bring them down.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to All!!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
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4 comments:
You have more restraint than I. I would have given her a lesson in prematurity 101. She wouldn't have liked it because I would have embarrassed her in front of everyone there. "Usually only drug babies?" Ignorance is one thing, a judgmental assumption is another. I've had many people ask about the O2 and the monitors but never a drug response. Perhpa s people are more understanding b/c they get that twins can be premature? Well the public needs to be educated. And rude people need to be put in their place. Good for you for not spitting....lol.
I would like to think that the woman was not trying to be rude but was just ignorant to what people with children who have a physical or mental challenge actually go through. Erika, all who know you know very well all you did and continue to do to save your childs life. There is no one in the world that should pass judgment on you -- Maybe that woman has a little guilt of her own. Hold your head high and continue doing what you are doing as you are extremely remarkable and have a wonderful family and support network. Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Love, Ellen
I don't know if I could have restrained myself like you. Some people are so ignorant. People don't realize what you, your family and Bryce have gone through for him to get to this stage. Don't let ignorant people get you down. Keep doing what you are doing. My post from the other day didn't go through and I wanted to make sure that you received one from me.
Sandie
The nerve some people have! I have a 4 yr old fmr micropreemie (23 wkr) and she is in a wheel chair etc. I have also gotten the stupidest comments and annoying stares.
It's much better if they just ask about her and show interest instead of gawking.
People are sooo ignorant of prematurity, it amazes me!
-Patty (fellow preemie mom)
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