Will it ever STOP???!!!!

So of course I have been feeling awful all weekend, pretty much in bed crying.... I feel awful because i can't even bear having my kids in the same house with me right now because of the noise and stuff, real nice mother I am, so basically gave them away for the weekend...

Don't you know..., Saturday Bryce seemed to be having trouble breathing (GREAT!) so I turned his O2 up put him to bed, by 10 pm he was up to 1 liter of O! We haven't been that high in I don;t know how long so of cause I'm sick and now he's sick! I gave him a neb... didn't help, called pulmonary they told me to start Orapred and check in in the morning. By morning he was still not better, coughing, wheezing real bad starting a temp. Well THANK GOD his pedi is open on the weekends so my mom helped me get him there since I can't drive , we brought him in, he has a bulging ear drum from an ear infection (eventhough he has tubes) I had NO IDEA he had and ear infection and he also has lots of wheezing. Plan is this: Orpred x5 days, Amoxicillin x10 days, nebs every 4 hours x4 days, and motrin! On top of the 15 pills a day I am taking right now, the incapacitating hearing loss and dizziness! and OF COURSE ITS MONDAY and everyone is at work so I am ALONE! H E L P!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On the bright side here are a few pics:

See he still sleeps with a bubba too and I feel like if he is happy so am I!

saw the camera and follwed to show of his cuteness with out his cannula!!!

Getting into trouble!

In desperate need of Prayers because I think its my only hope!

Hi I know this blog is supposed to be about Bryce, but today I am asking that an and everyone pray for me....

Aside from just finding out I have an ulcer, yesterday morning around 3am I was woken from a sound sleep to the room spinning, and my ear ringing SO LOUD it was unbearable. With in 5 minutes of being awake I was so dizzy I couldn't walk and I went 100% deaf in my right ear. I tried to ignore it and started off to work. I got in the shower got the kiddos ready, dropped them off to the babysitters and started my drive to work, (which I should not have been doing being dizzy). While driving on the highway my symptoms worsened significantly.... I realized that although I thought I was driving in a straight line, I was actually in a totally different lane than I thought. It was at that point I decided it was time to not drive anymore so that I didn't kill or injure someone or myself. I of course started panicking because I was so dizzy and couldn't hear anything. I had my papa take me to the ER. All kinds of tests were performed and they diagnosed me with Meniere's Syndrome, they sort of controlled the dizziness temporarily and discharged me. They told me to go see and ENT, so I called DR Sillmans office (crying of course) and they got me in right away. I went straight in for a hearing test, they did with electricity instead of sound. I of course heard NOTHING.... The audiologist came in and said "It's not good". I then went in to see the doctor and he told me there was absolutely NO electro response in my ear what so ever. He also said "this is not good" He then proceeded to tell me that I may never hear again and the dizziness may never go away. He started me on mega meds and said "I'll cross my fingers, that's all I can do"........
Now I know things could always be worse, I could be deaf in both ears or have some life threatening disease or whatever, BUT this is one of the MOST devastating things to happen to m, I could hear and function on Thursday, on Friday GONE! I don't know how I am going to learn to deal with this..... (Just talking about it is making me cry) how am I going to care for my kids if I can't even walk? Or hear? Or turn my head? Or any of the things I have taken for granted..... ITS NOT FAIR! why is this happening to me? What did I do so wrong to deserve this????? ??? SOME ONE PLEASE TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't steal, I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I take care of my kids , I work I do all the things I"m supposed to do... WHY ME! Why not the person who abuses their kids or steals or does drugs? Why me??????????????????????????????????????? WHY ME?

Long overdue!

So not too much to report..... Thats why I haven't been updating lately. Nicole and Faythe are in school. Faythe has done great with her first real school year with the exceptions of a few bus mishaps... and she loves it so far! Dance starts this week. 9 classes for Nicole and Faythe is going to give it a shot again.. We'll see how it goes!

Bryce is now 21 lbs. I forgot his length but he is in the less than 5th percentile for his weight, 30 percentile for his height and 50th for his head! HOLY COW! Big head means big brains! He is doing well we are now giving him 1 hour/day off of his oxygen. But now that he has felt freedom he DOES NOT want it on at all! I can't wait until its gone for good! We went to have his eyes checked today, he is beginning to have a lazy eye and still has astigmatism so we go back in a month to possibly fit for glasses.. How cute!! He is still COMPLETELY refusing to walk. His ankles turn in and he "W" sits WAY too MUCH! So we are keeping a very close eye on all of this he will probably end up with AFO's at some point but we are going to wait a bit until we figure out why he won't walk. Another issue he has is a texture aversion on his feet so that is causing problems with walking as well, he doesn't like his feet on the ground at all anywhere so PT recommends we keep shoes on him as often as possible, so I am doing my best with that too, but he hates shoes......

I have been pretty sick lately which is another reason I haven't been updating,... I just had a few biopsies done on my stomach and am waiting for the results.... I have lost 10 lbs in 5 weeks with out trying.... and feel really crappy some days. Hopefully its nothing. They did however find a "pretty Good" ulcer while doing the endoscopy so I am sure that isn't helping the way I feel if not causing it so we;ll see.

Unfortunately no pics, I have been REALLY bad with that lately.....