Miracle Baby: Thought we were going home soon, but nope!

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Thought we were going home soon, but nope!

Hi
Well I haven't been posting lately because I have been working REAL hard trying to get Bryce home. We thought maybe we would be able to come home this past week but he is having trouble with his feedings. He is still needing to be fed with a gavage tube and he can't come home until he is all bottle fed. I will be moving into the hospital Sunday for a few days trying to breastfeed all feedings to see if he will eat better that way. We'll see... Lets hope it works. He has had a few yucky days the past few days. Last night he lost 40 grams which is a big loss for a baby, but he is 4lbs. 11 oz. He also has been acting kind of funny lately, just not himself. They did a renal ultrasound 2 days ago and he still has one enlarged kidney with fluid around it and now he has calcium deposits in BOTH kidneys. I guess this is pretty common in preemies. It also looks like he may have a kidney stone. They sent off a urine culture today to see if there is any blood in it. I don't know what if anything they will do about the kidney stones, I'll just have to wait and see. I want him to come home so bad, I don't even know what to do with myself anymore. It seems like my world is falling apart lately..... It sucks.It so strange because even with all the support I get from everyone I am still feeling so alone in this whole thing, I don't really know why. I just wish he didn't have to go through all of this and he could just be home with me.... I'm sure everyone that has a sick baby feels this way too, but I don;t like it. I am such a miserable person now (not that I wasn't before) But its MUCH worse now. I am a walking time bomb. I just cry all the time and I feel like I can;t be happy about anything anymore. I even tried to go to the beach (Thanks Bri and Jess) and I did have fun, but I felt guilty ALLLL day and then was just miserable. I'm sure I am no fun to be around anymore, I even think the nurses and docs in the NICU are getting sick of me. I'm Getting sick of me. ANYWAY, I will stop complaining now, I just needed to get that out. So strange to think its been 97 days since Bryce has been born, even though sometimes it seems like time might be going by slow, it has actually gone by SSOOO fast. If I was still pregnant I would still have 2 weeks left until my due date. Strange huh? I wonder what I would look like right now???? Oooo thats kind of a scary thought... I would be HUGE! But I can say that I would much rather be huge right now than to have to have Bryce going through this. Thanks again for everyones support through all this. Oh and I will try to get some more pictures soon. But you can trust me when I say HE IS SOOOO CUTE! I can't even stand it!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...: He is still such a cutie. Hope you get a chance to post some more pictures. He is getting so big and cuter every day. Hope you won't have to be in the hospital too long. Soon, you will both be home and that's when the fun begins. You are still in our prayers.
Sandie and Heidi; July 21, 2007 at 5:17 PM
23wktwinsmommy said...: Hey, I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. It was so hard those last couple of weeks. All I wanted to hear was "they are ready to come home." Some people talk about being nervous or anxious to bring their baby home from the NICU...I wasn't. I was sooo excited to finally have them home it outweighed any nervous feelings. Bryce will be home soon. A lot of times feedings just take off one day. I actually opted to reduce breastfeeding so they could have the benefit of more calories. They had 1/2 my milk and half formula at 25 cal. They gained weight a lot better than when I breastfeed 2-3 times per day! Good luck!; July 21, 2007 at 6:55 PM